You Are Not Selfish! You Are Self-Caring!
Max Stirner's Egoism & Neurodivergence
I recently read a fascinating article titled “Reasons You (Mistakenly) Believe Autistic People Are Selfish” (link below). In this article, the author lists common behaviors of autistic individuals which seem rude, selfish, uncaring, self-absorbed or otherwise-self-related. In this essay, the author Jaime A. Heidel (The Articulate Autistic) explains that the problem is simply that “we speak different languages.”
This is a common sentiment discussed by many of the neurodivergent creators I follow. Their words and voices will accompany this thought experiment.
So now you are probably asking yourself…what does any of this have to do with Max Stirner or egoist philosophy?
Well…let me enlighten you.
I believe that Max Stirner’s egoism offers a provocative and alternative lens through which to view this struggle which neurodivergent individuals face in interpersonal and social relationships.
If you are new here and you don’t know who Max Stirner is: He is a 19th century philosopher who is known for his radical ideas about autonomy, anti-essentialism and his rejection of normativity and social obligations.
In recent times, there has been a growing awareness and understanding of neurodivergence, which includes conditions such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more. However, despite increasing recognition, neurodivergent individuals often face significant challenges due to these misconceptions and society’s utter disregard of anyone who cannot be simply put in a box.
Unfortunately, however, it isn’t just the lack of conformity which neurodivergent individuals have to deal with, but also the fact that these misconceptions cast neurodivergent individuals as selfish, lacking empathy, or unable to connect with others in meaningful ways.
The goal of this essay is to explore how Stirner’s philosophy of egoism can provide a different and more nuanced framework for understanding neurodivergence.
By emphasizing autonomy and rejecting normative pressures, egoism provides a lens through which behaviors often misconstrued as selfish or antisocial can be reinterpreted as legitimate expressions of personal freedom and self-care. Ultimately, I hope to use this framework to challenge harmful stereotypes and foster a more nuanced perspective of neurodivergence.
Misconceptions About Neurodivergent ‘Behavior’
Neurodivergent individuals—or in other words, individuals whose neurological functioning diverges from the typical patterns seen in the general population—often face stigmatization. In this essay, I will focus on the following misunderstandings and misconceptions:
“You are so rude/difficult”
Neurodivergent individuals, such as those with autism, may struggle with understanding or responding to social cues, which are often taken for granted in typical social interactions. This difficulty can lead to perceptions of them as socially awkward, "weird", but most commonly, rude. For instance, an autistic person might not recognize subtle body language or unspoken social norms, leading others to misinterpret their responses as inappropriate or disconnected.
Instead of describing these situations, I would like to show you some videos by a TikTok content creator who kindly let me use these videos for this essay:
Difficulty Making Decisions / Questioning Everything
Difficulty Answering Questions
“Do you even like me?”
This was also mentioned in the videos above. Very often, autistic individuals are accused of a certain level of disregard within relationships and friendships which are boiled down to lack of empathy or other antisocial behavior traits. However, in most cases this problem comes down to communication style and affectual differences.
Needing Personal Space
The impact of these misconceptions on neurodivergent individuals can be profound, affecting their personal, social, and professional lives.
Neurodivergent individuals may find themselves marginalized or excluded from social groups or professional networks due to misinterpretations of their behavior. Being frequently misunderstood or judged harshly can contribute to mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self-worth.
Misconceptions can also create barriers in educational and occupational settings, where neurodivergent individuals might be unfairly judged or deemed less capable due to their differences in social interaction and communication.
These misconceptions not only reinforce negative stereotypes but also ignore the complexity of neurodivergent experiences. Seems like we really really need a new way of looking at things.
History of Treatment of Autistic Individuals
Lets use autism as an example. Autism has been historically misunderstood. However, it has also seen a significant evolution in its clinical understanding and societal perception.
Early Understanding and Clinical Definitions
The term "autism" was first used in the early 20th century by Swiss psychiatrist Eugen Bleuler to describe a symptom of schizophrenia. However, it was not until the 1940s that autism was more clearly defined as a distinct condition. In 1943, American psychiatrist Leo Kanner published a study describing 11 children with "early infantile autism," emphasizing challenges in social interaction and communication. Around the same time, Austrian pediatrician Hans Asperger identified a milder form of autism, now known as Asperger's Syndrome, characterized by social difficulties and restrictive interests without significant language delay.
The clinical understanding of autism has broadened since these early definitions. Autism was once considered a rare, severe disorder, but it is now recognized as a spectrum condition—Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)—encompassing a wide range of symptoms and abilities. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has periodically updated its criteria for autism, most notably in 2013 when the DSM-5 merged several related diagnoses under the umbrella term ASD.
Societal Mistreatment and Marginalization
Autistic individuals have historically faced significant societal mistreatment and marginalization. Early interpretations often blamed parents, particularly mothers, for their child’s autism, coining the term "refrigerator mothers" to suggest that cold, unloving parenting caused the disorder. This view, now thoroughly discredited, led to stigma and guilt for many families.
Throughout the 20th century, autistic individuals were often placed in institutions, where they were subjected to neglect, poor living conditions, and even abusive treatments. Misunderstanding and fear of the condition contributed to widespread social exclusion, limited opportunities for education, and employment, and a general lack of support for autistic people and their families.
Intersectional Challenges & Compounded Marginalization
Autism intersects with various other aspects of identity, such as race, gender, socioeconomic status, and more, leading to compounded difficulties for many individuals.
Autistic individuals from marginalized racial and ethnic groups often face delayed diagnoses due to biases and lack of access to quality healthcare, while women and girls are frequently underdiagnosed because they may mask symptoms or present differently than boys. Those from lower socioeconomic backgrounds encounter significant barriers to accessing necessary services due to cost and complexity, and LGBTQ+ autistic individuals must navigate the dual challenges of their neurodivergence and sexual or gender identity, often facing increased discrimination and mental health issues. Aging autistic adults also face unique struggles, particularly with limited support tailored to their needs, further compounding the difficulties experienced by those who are already marginalized.
Recent Shifts
In recent decades, there has been a significant shift in both clinical understanding and societal attitudes toward autism. Advocacy and the neurodiversity movement, which promotes the idea that neurological differences like autism are natural variations of human experience, have changed perceptions. This movement, which began in the 1990s, emphasizes acceptance and inclusion rather than "curing" autism.
There has also been a push for better support systems, inclusive education, and the protection of rights for autistic individuals. Research has increasingly focused on understanding autism as a spectrum, with a greater appreciation for the strengths and unique perspectives that autistic people can bring to society.
This divide reflects broader tensions between medical and social models of disability, with ongoing debates about the most ethical and effective ways to support autistic individuals while respecting their autonomy and diverse ways of being.
The Core Contradictions
One of the contradictions is the conflict between society’s desire to control and impose uniform standards of behavior and the need for recognizing and valuing individual autonomy and diversity. Society tends to impose norms to create stability and predictability, but this often leads to the marginalization of those who do not fit neatly into these norms.
The other contradiction is the inherent tension between including diverse individuals in societal structures and demanding conformity to established norms to keep conflicts at bay. Neurodivergent individuals often find themselves on the margins because their ways of being do not align with standard expectations. And that does not seem inclusive, respectful or in any way celebratory of diversity, as this society claims to be.
Max Stirner’s Egoism as a Framework for Understanding Neurodivergence
The problem I see in the way neurodivergent individuals are treated in society and science boils down to a contradiction that seems unsolvable within a framework of thought that prioritizes economic prosperity, social welfare, predetermined rights, sustainability and stability. Or in other words: control.
The tension between different schools of thought on neurodivergence centers on whether to view it through a medical or social lens. Do we celebrate empowerment or do we look for ways to ‘fix’? Do we support advocacy or do we pathologize? Ultimately, the conflict arises from balancing the need for support and accommodation with the goal of embracing and integrating neurodivergent individuals into a more inclusive society.
In the subsequent sections of this essay, I will explore how Max Stirner’s philosophy of egoism provides an alternative framework for interpreting these behaviors which actually - paradoxically, seems much more inclusive than the efforts by conformist society. In fact, it actually exposes the need of conformist institutions to ostracize and demonize people whose experience is harder to control than those who are properly socialized and conditioned.
In my opinion, Stirner’s philosophy is deeply reminiscent of this perspective.
By emphasizing individual autonomy and critiquing normative pressures, egoism offers a way to understand neurodivergent behaviors not as deficiencies but as legitimate expressions of personal freedom and self-care.
Introduction to Max Stirner’s Egoism
Max Stirner's philosophy of egoism is built upon several foundational principles that challenge traditional notions of society and morality:
Ownness
At the heart of Stirner's egoism is the concept of ownness. This refers to the state of being one's own, where an individual recognizes themselves as the sole proprietor of their thoughts, actions, and life. It is a radical form of self-ownership that rejects external authority, societal norms, and notions of legitimacy coming from anywhere but through ownness. In Stirner's view, ownness is achieved when a person acknowledges that they are not bound by any higher power or abstract ideals. Instead, they live according to their desires and interest, and engage in self-approval, treating everything else as a tool or means to fulfill their personal goals. However, this does not mean acting recklessly or without consideration for others. But we will talk about that in the chapter on the Union of Egoists. Ultimately, ownness is about embracing uniqueness and living authentically. It’s actually quite simple but incredibly nuanced. This is also why it may actually be easier for neurodivergent people to navigate.
Why is it difficult you ask? Well…because of…
Spooks (used to refer to illusiory concepts)
In Max Stirner’s philosophy, societal norms, dogmas, and ideologies that claim to dictate how individuals should behave are called spooks. In the egoist framework, these constructs are viewed as internalizations which seek to categorize and hierarchize people based on illusiory concepts which only serve to be deconstructed and eliminated. Egoism is about not only rejecting but also staying in constant vigilance to these parasitic concepts which are often shrouded in positivity, progress and humanity, but cause massive levels of systemic inequalities and oppression. Not only systemically - but also in the form of subjectivation, the process by which individuals become subjects, shaped by social, cultural, and power structures. It involves the internalization of norms, identities, and roles imposed by society, leading individuals to understand and define themselves within these frameworks. While subjectivation forms one's sense of self, it also implies a level of control or influence exerted by external forces, such as institutions, ideologies, or discourses. This concept, explored by philosophers like Michel Foucault, highlights the tension between personal identity and the pervasive power dynamics that mold and constrain it.
The Union of Egoists
While egoism is all about autonomy, it does not preclude social interactions. Stirner introduces the concept of the Union of Egoists, where individuals voluntarily come together based on mutual benefit rather than collective identity. Seems simple but it is actually a radical notion. Because these unions could not function in today’s society, due to their flexible and openly self-interested nature which would likely conflict with the rigid structures and expectations of modern social institutions. In a society where loyalty, long-term commitment, and self-sacrifice are often prized, the Union of Egoists challenges these norms by prioritizing temporary and pragmatic alliances formed purely for personal gain. And yes, that probably sounds yucky at first glace, but it is nothing more than saying “We have a similar goal, maybe we can help each other along the way.” However, this simple but radical notion while not negating them, undermines traditional social bonds like family, nation, or community, which are typically seen as intrinsic or moral obligations. Instead, Stirner's idea advocates for relationships that dissolve as soon as they no longer serve the individual’s interests, but that could also last the entirety of one’s life so…what’s the difference?
Egoism and Social Normativity
As I mentioned before, it almost seems as if autistic individuals may have an easier time in an egoist environment, where self-expression would be considered individual to each individual and the normative pressures that dictate behavior and social interactions just simply wouldn’t exist. But Stirner did not give us a utopian ideal, so don’t even let your mind wander there. He gave us a framework to understand the various ways in which we let the world limit our ownness.
So, why is that? Why does it seem like it would be easier for autistic individuals to navigate those waters?
Reinterpreting Misconceptions of Neurodivergent Behaviors Through Egoism
Well…because they don’t interpret behaviors often mischaracterized as selfish or antisocial, framing them instead as legitimate expressions of personal freedom and self-care, and they are focused more on understanding than following demands and predetermined paths.
Let’s look at the misunderstandings and misconceptions mentioned previously and add a little egoism to the mix:
“You are so rude”
—> “You are so focused on your ownness”
The stigmatization of neurodivergent individuals, rooted in a misunderstanding of their behaviors and communication styles, is a clear example of how societal norms and expectations can suppress individuality. These misconceptions—such as viewing neurodivergent people as rude, lacking empathy, or socially awkward—reflect the rigid frameworks within which society often operates, demanding conformity to a "typical" way of interacting and thinking. From an egoist perspective, this not only harms neurodivergent individuals but also undermines the potential for authentic and diverse expressions of self.
Egoism, particularly as articulated by Max Stirner, posits that individuals should not be bound by external moralities, norms, or expectations that do not serve their personal interests or authentic expression. Neurodivergent individuals, whose neurological patterns differ from societal norms, exemplify the tension between individuality and conformity. The societal demand that everyone understand and respond to social cues in the same way reflects a collective identity that egoism rejects. Egoism advocates for embracing one's own uniqueness and acting according to one's self-interest, without being burdened by the expectations of others.
From this perspective, the neurodivergent individual's struggle with social cues would not be viewed as a deficiency or rudeness. Instead, it would be recognized as a unique mode of being—one that does not owe conformity to the neurotypical majority. The accusation of rudeness, therefore, is not a reflection of the neurodivergent person’s character but rather a manifestation of society’s unwillingness to accommodate diverse expressions of self.
“Do you even like me?”
—> “I see you also don’t enjoy social obligation, do you want to form a union of egoists with me instead?”
In the context of social interactions, Stirner introduces the concept of the Union of Egoists—a voluntary association of individuals who come together based on mutual benefit and personal interest, rather than conformity to a collective identity. This concept offers a radical rethinking of how neurodivergent individuals might engage in social relationships. Rather than being forced to fit into predetermined social norms that do not resonate with their way of being, neurodivergent individuals could form or participate in unions where their unique modes of communication and interaction are respected and valued.
For instance, in a Union of Egoists, the need for clarity, detail, or personal space—often perceived as peculiar or inconvenient by neurotypical standards—would be seen as legitimate and actually, totally important. Furthermore, the union would exist only as long as it serves the interests of its members, dissolving when it no longer does so. This flexibility and focus on mutual benefit challenge the notion that relationships must adhere to rigid, socially imposed standards of interaction. Instead, relationships become spaces where individual needs and preferences are prioritized, which ultimately allows for genuine connection without the pressure to conform.
From an egoist perspective, these misconceptions are spooks which serve as tools of control that reinforce societal norms and suppress individuality. By labeling neurodivergent behaviors as "rude" or "lacking empathy," society effectively marginalizes those who do not conform, and pressure them to suppress their authentic selves in favor of an inauthentic normativity.
Egoism challenges this by asserting that no external standard should dictate how an individual should be or act, especially when such standards serve to marginalize. Neurodivergent individuals, like all individuals, have the right to define their interactions and relationships on their own terms, free from the coercive pressures of societal expectations.
Addressing Potential Critiques of this Framework Head-On
While Max Stirner’s egoism provides a robust framework for understanding neurodivergent behaviors, it is essential to address potential critiques and considerations to ensure a balanced and nuanced application of this philosophy.
Promoting Selfishness / Lack of Social Cohesion & Responsibility
One common critique of egoism is that it promotes selfishness and a lack of empathy. Critics argue that by prioritizing individual desires above all else, egoism might lead to a disregard for others’ needs and well-being. However, Stirner’s egoism obviously does not advocate for harm or exploitation but rather emphasizes that individuals should act in ways that align with their own self-interest while voluntarily respecting the autonomy of others. Even in the case of ethical egoism, meaning the potential disregard of others for the sake of personal benefit I would like to ask…how is that not what is already happening, just in a much more subtle way, with its oppression affecting mostly and especially those who are the most marginalized in society? Egoism doesn’t try to argue for harmony. This is seen as a utopian ideal in the first place. Egoism is about perspective. And perspective can make a huge difference in a person’s life. It does not try to go deeper than that. Another critique is that egoism might lead to a lack of social responsibility or cooperation. Critics worry that if everyone prioritized their own interests, social cohesion could suffer. Stirner’s concept of the “Union of Egoists” addresses this concern by highlighting voluntary associations based on mutual benefit. In this framework, cooperation is a choice rather than an obligation, which truly only benefits those who control the hand of subjectivation.
Conclusion
So…what have we learned? As with so many other things, Stirner’s Egoism seems to bridge a gap which seems unbridgable in conformist society. And that includes this weird jumbled version of individualistic but somehow still deeply conformist society prevalent in pretty much all versions of society Western states have attempted to form.
Max Stirner’s egoism offers a transformative perspective for understanding neurodivergence by simultaneously challenging normative pressures representing the realities people endure due to the illusions of society, as well as offering a framework for the individual celebration of one’s own autonomy, agency and the fluidity of experience. This philosophical framework provides a way to reinterpret neurodivergent behaviors as expressions of self-care and ownness rather than deficiencies or flaws. It also obliterates the potential of fetishization or the neglect of intersectional aspects of neurodivergent realities.
I find myself, as always when considering an egoist framework of understanding, deeply in awe of the strange nature of egoist philosophy, which is so often villainized and hailed to be ethically deplorable - but somehow manages to be so much more inclusive and simultaneously critical of the systems in place which we are all taught to view as the epitome of progress, knowledge and humanity?
The application of egoism to neurodivergence not only challenges harmful stereotypes but also promotes greater acceptance of all individuals. It encourages a shift away from rigid normative standards and towards a recognition of individual differences as legitimate and valuable.
And I don’t know about you but I feel like that is worth giving some consideration.
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Special thanks to the TikTok Creator mentioned in this essay:
Luke Grosch: @lukegrosch (TikTok)
References:
https://www.thearticulateautistic.com/reasons-you-mistakenly-believe-autistic-people-are-selfish-part-1-miscommunication/
The positive impact of identity-affirming mental health treatment for neurodivergent individuals by Elizabeth Kroll, Megan Lederman, Jonathan Kohlmeier, Komal Kumar, Jaime Ballard, Izabella Zant and Caroline Fenkel
Naming ourselves, becoming neurodivergent scholars by Hanna Bertilsdotter Rosqvist, Lill Hultman, Sofia Österborg Wiklund, Anna Nygren, Palle Storm & Greta Sandberg
Cutting our own keys: New possibilities of neurodivergent storying in research Hanna Bertilsdotter Rosqvist, Monique Botha, Kristien Hens, Sarinah O’Donoghue, Amy Pearson and Anna Stenning
"The Essential Difference: Male and Female Brains and The Truth about Autism" (2003) by Simon Baron-Cohen: https://amzn.to/3YDfcrG
"The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" (2007) by Tony Attwood: https://amzn.to/3yy1Kea
"The Autism Spectrum" (Revised Edition, 2012) by Judith Gould: https://amzn.to/4csNsJW
“The positive impact of identity-affirming mental health treatment for neurodivergent individuals” by Elizabeth Kroll, Megan Lederman, Jonathan Kohlmeier, Komal Kumar, Jaime Ballard, Izabella Zant and Caroline Fenkel: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1403129/full
“Naming ourselves, becoming neurodivergent scholars” by Hanna Bertilsdotter Rosqvist, Lill Hultman, Sofia Österborg Wiklund, Anna Nygren, Palle Storm & Greta Sandberg: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09687599.2023.2271155
“Cutting our own keys: New possibilities of neurodivergent storying in research” by Hanna Bertilsdotter Rosqvist, Monique Botha, Kristien Hens, Sarinah O’Donoghue, Amy Pearson and Anna Stenning: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/13623613221132107
“Reasons You (Mistakenly) Believe Autistic People Are Selfish” by Jaime A. Heidel: https://www.thearticulateautistic.com/reasons-you-mistakenly-believe-autistic-people-are-selfish-part-1-miscommunication/3
Further resources:
Full Academic Study Guide: http://www.paradoxprodigy.com/2024/08/guide-to-neurodiversity-studies.html
Great movies on Neurodivergence and Neurodiversity: https://medium.com/@anekabdot/10-movies-that-represent-neurodivergence-by-challenging-normativity-3dd469cb557e
Great fictional novels and memoirs on Neurodivergence and Neurodiversity: https://medium.com/@anekabdot/fiction-and-non-fiction-books-that-challenge-and-represent-the-challenges-of-the-imposition-of-a779ad2c8bcf